I want to be happy
I had a dream, or maybe it was the last thought I had before I went to bed the other night?.
Nevertheless it made me happy, I felt happy for awhile. Turning this into words is a feat I’m not sure I can overcome but i’ll try.
You know the after taste of having just eaten something sweet and it kinda lingers on your lips add that with the your best time of day, for me it was dawn then you put that in your best thought of atmosphere. I was in a place in Brunei, in the car, sitting on the passenger seat. We were driving uphill. My hand was hanging outside the window trying to catch the fog, as we sped past the trees. Oh how i miss the green tropical trees of brunei. We were reaching the peak, almost there. Breathing in the cool air, smelling sweetly as it feels up my lungs. I was content. He’s right there beside me this man, smiling at me. Seeing me like no one ever has. He reaches out to hold my hand. I want to hold his hand, I want it to be entwined with mine. I can see sunlight creeping through the trees, he’s blurring out, I hear angry voices. I’m panicking, I don’t want him to disappear, I don’t want to lose this feeling. The mood is changing, everything is dissipating into darkness.
I wake up to find myself in my bedroom. It’s dark except for the orange yellow light from the lamp post outside my window flowing smoothly upon the edge of my bed post. The air in my room smells familiar from my dream or was it just a fantasy, I’m not certain. It smells of burnt tobacco and sweet flowers. It reminds me of him.
